Hollywood Jane Asks “Where Have The Scary Vampires Gone?”
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Hollywood Jane, the nom de plume of a writer trying to crack Hollywood, posted a treatise on modern vampires, wondering why they’re so obsessed with sex and not so much with the blood of virgins. Here’s an excerpt:
Now days all we’ve got are a bunch of castrated Hells Angels who mope around and whine about being monsters – and they’re everywhere. They don’t drink from humans or practice polygamy, they can take long walks in the park under the sun, chow down on pesto pasta, and attend Mass on Sundays. Why not just make up a new name for these sparkling vegetarians, because they sure as hell aren’t vampires. If you want to ignore the rules so that your undead hero can get into your heroine’s pants, fine. Just please stop pretending that these guys are any more dangerous or alluring than a biker in a leather jacket.
Her final point, calling for a female vampire in love with a mortal male, is intriguing. Why hasn’t this happened yet? Would it appeal to us the way a male vampire in love with a mortal female does? And has Jane seen Eric rip Redneck Royce to pieces? There’s some monster for ya!
You can tell she got her Vampire knowledge off a cereal box. Vampires are sex. The whole metaphor for biting (penetration) and sucking (obvious enough)are subtle symbols for sexuality.
I do agree though. Vampires have to act like Vampires. I understand about taking the religous aspect of it. All those Christian symbols used in Vampire stories are fairly new to a myth that may be a million years old.
But they have to follow the basic rules: They can’t go into the sun, they drink blood, they are capable of viciousness and they are scary. Sorry, Vampires just don’t sparkle.
Well I think the cereal box quote put it pretty good. I mean I can see where she has issue with sparkling. The essence of vampires is SEX, Attraction, and well SEX. Yeah she must have missed Eric ripping the guy apart and Bill taking care of the Rattrays and their trailer.
True Blood for life.
Who put blood in her Cheerios?
Hellow….. Twilight was intended to be for teens. Neither of these are true to their legend. I think it’s good that everyone is able to enjoy vampires in one form or another.
if you want a movie about a human guy in love with a vamp girl watch Bitten with Jason Mewes… it’s an absolutely horrible movie (as in crappy not terrifying) despite my love of vampire shows and Jason Mewes. It really is what she’s asking for, a guy who’s into a hot girl but wants a “normal” relationship and she can’t give it to him b/c all she wants is to drink blood (no twilight vegetarianism or true blood’s bottled option for her… only straight from the human source and lots of it) and yes, have sex.
vampires are sex,sex and blood. All are evil,but some want to hold to their human side alittle better.That’s the allure.The i know i need to go the other way real quick,but you are drawn to the sex,the allure of the danger. The storylines change but some guidelines stay the same.There is a fine line between life and death with vamps,just don’t cross it.And they do not sparkle.They’re sexy,dark and in your face,they don’t sparkle or glitter or whatever that is.