Recap: Episode 3.04, ‘9 Crimes’

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Ann: “I know the truth about life. It’s a hell I’ll never get out of alive.”
Bill: “No one does.”

You know what? This has nothing to do with my obsessive Eric/Sookie shippiness, but I just realized that I like Bill a lot better when he’s not with Sookie.

All of Bill’s scenes in this episode were strong: his exhausted, sarcastic fury with Lorena, the phone call where he broke Sookie’s heart, and especially that strong, sad scene in the nightclub where he carefully chose a victim for Russell and Lorena, an unhappy young woman who had no family and no love of life. It appears that in order to save Sookie’s life, he is deliberately forcing himself to be the killer he once was. Wonderful performance by Stephen Moyer.

And (okay, had to get back to my Eric/Sookie shippiness) that leaves the field free for Eric. His fantasy about Sookie was so much fun — especially his face when he snapped out of it. Misleading the Magister toward Bill was a clever move on Pam’s part, and it’ll help Eric save Pam, protect his Queen (who doesn’t deserve it), and will quite possibly eliminate his romantic rival as well.

Brit Morgan as 'Debbie Pelt'

Sookie now knows that Coot took Bill, and that the King is controlling the weres with his own blood. Werewolves tend to bore me, but Nazi werewolves addicted to V makes them less wolfy and more vampy. The unholy communion thing was something else again, and I have to say that you don’t see werewolves getting branded every day of the week. How weird is it that both the King of Mississippi and the Queen of Louisiana are doing illegal stuff with their blood?

I’m still digging Franklin Mott, and oddly, considering how incredibly evil he is, he appears to be genuinely into Tara. That scene where he controlled what she was saying was interesting; we haven’t seen a vamp do that before, have we? Actually, Russell‘s minions are more interesting than Russell is. If Franklin is indeed working for the King. I’m confused about that. Franklin keeps trying to find Bill and Sookie, but why would he be doing that if the King knows where Bill is?

Let’s see. What else?

— I loved Sookie’s makeover of the damned.

— Alcide is literally hot. Definitely appealing and looks amazing with his shirt off, but if we’re talking shifters, I like Sam a lot more.

— Except that I’m not that interested in the Mickens plot. The best part was Sam trying to help his little brother, who has at least demonstrated a sense of responsibility toward his undeserving parents.

— We finally met Alcide’s former fiancee, Debbie Pelt. And Alcide’s sister, Janice. Is she a were, too?

— Dueling redheads! Cue the banjos. Jessica working at Merlotte’s is fun waiting to happen.

— According to Chip from Bible study, Jessica is still officially “missing.”

— Lafayette is digging his cool new car, and I loved Eric rescuing him from the Norrises, who don’t seem to be anything like they are in the books.

— Jason hasn’t learned anything from his previous experiences and is blackmailing his way into a new career as a cop. Since Bud is retiring and Andy has been promoted, can we assume that William Sanderson is leaving the show?

— The final scene with the blood dripping out of the limo was a bit much. Especially with three vamps inside. What terrible table manners.

Quotes:

Alcide: “No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can still turn around and kick you right in the nutsack.”
Sookie: “I don’t have a nutsack.”

Alcide: “It’s a were thing. We run hot.”
Sookie: “I thought that you were coming down with the flu.”

Sam’s mother: “Sometimes I think that boy’s cheese done slid right off his cracker.”

Sookie: “Can all vampires fly?”
Eric: “Can all humans sing?”

Kenya: “Well, I guess the only way to get a promotion in this town is to drink like a fish, hallucinate farm animals, and kill a black man.”

Lafayette: “I’m just here to up your game. Help you step up in the world. Clean some shit up.”
Crystal: “I’ll go grab the Dirt Devil from Felton.”
Actually, she and Jason are made for each other, aren’t they?

Not the strongest outing, and I have no idea where it’s all going. Three out of four redheaded waitresses,

Billie

billiedoux.com

Also, be sure to check out Matt’s recap at The Examiner.

I'm a hopeless sci-fi geek and huge fan of shows like True Blood, Lost, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I write episode reviews and articles about many of the shows that I love. All of my reviews are at DouxReviews.com

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