SPOILERS: Teasers For True Blood Episode 5.03

E! Online has some teasers for True Blood episode 5.03, “Whatever I Am, You Made Me”, which airs June 24. It’s couched in their usual purple prose, so let’s see what we can decipher.

The New Nan Flanagan: Reverend Newlin (Michael McMillian) isn’t just showing up in Bon Temps to make himself an unwanted party crasher, he’ll have a whole new role at the Authority. He’s the best person to take over the old face of the Vampire Authority now that he’s a vampire and a smooth-talking religious nut spokesperson.

We wondered if the smiling vampire was working for the Authority, and this teaser seems to confirm that suspicion. The question remains, however: Who is Steve’s Maker?

No Biting the Merchandise: As you will soon learn Lorena, Bill, Eric and Pam have a very long, sordid and interesting history. Bill and Lorena were out sowing their wild oats when he and Eric clashed before. This fun flashback also explains why Pam isn’t the biggest Bill Compton fan.

Is Mariana Klaveno reprising her role as Lorena via flashback? Sure sounds like it! It also sounds like the flashback to when Eric made Pam doesn’t do Bill any favors.

Sex Ed Teacher: If you watch Mad Men you might recognize Jason’s former teacher as the first Mrs. Draper (Melinda Page Hamilton). We find out that this is the woman who sent Jason down a sordid sexual path. The gist of this big reveal is that Jason has so much baggage he’d need a whole cargo truck to go on vacation. Did we know that already?

Yes, E!, we knew that already. What we don’t already know is what lies behind Jason’s promiscuity. Apparently there’s more going on than “boys will be boys” hormones.