Recap 5.6 True Blood “Hopeless”

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Bill: “I love a good execution.”

Did I think Russell would be executed? Nope. Did I want him to be? Nope.

But the Authority stuff now has me completely confused. Authority is so corrupt; they killed all those poor people who were waiting for Russell to eat them. (And Doug.) Salome clearly didn’t want Russell executed, but she also shed a blood tear when Russell staked Roman. Are Salome and Nora on the same side? Is Molly in on it? Do they all believe that Lilith is coming? Was Russell lying when he said Lilith didn’t exist? (And does she?)

At least Bill and Eric are okay and no longer have iStakes attached to their hearts. I’m not a big Bill fan, but how cool was he in this episode? Loved how he pretended to glamour Sookie while telling her how he felt about her; it was heartbreaking and sweet, and I’m not even into them as a couple. (Eric glamoring Alcide was hilarious, though, and absolutely teeming with homoerotic subtext. Not that I think they’re about to get involved.)

Things at Fangtasia heated up with a Tara versus Jessica cat fight, so I guess that friendship is permanently on hold. (Did Tara actually say “Yessum, missy Pam”?) Hoyt thought the fight meant that Jessica still cares about him, and frankly, I’m a bit confused about whether she does or not. At any rate, Hoyt was so reckless he was ready to die. And now he’s been “rescued” by the shifter murderers, one of whom recognized him. I don’t know where they’re going with this one.

At least Luna is still alive and her little werewolf puppy hasn’t been orphaned. So cute that she went to scary wolf grandma. Martha was acting all rational and everything about taking care of Emma and how Luna was her mother and had the control. Do I believe her? Nope. Don’t trust her, Luna! She ate her son’s intestines!

The fairy strip club plot is getting even weirder, although I loved Sookie and Jason looking for it in the middle of a field. There never seem to be enough Sookie/Jason scene and for some reason, I always enjoy them together. And I think this was the first time we’ve ever seen Sookie, Jason and Hadley together, isn’t it? And we finally really met Claude, who said that fairies adjust to the standard of beauty of whatever reality they’re in. (He also complained about Maab making them dress like Disney characters, which was funny.)

Claude said that the vampires killed the Stackhouses because they smelled little Sookie’s blood on a bandaid in the back seat. Come onnnn! I just don’t buy it. (And hey, Sookie doesn’t need to feel that level of guilt, either.) I’m betting that the fairies did something to Jason to make him believe that vampires killed his parents. Is this some sort of fairy extermination spell to get vamps out of the way? Maybe I’m just more into vamps than fairies and don’t want them to be guilty. Whatever.

Way too many plot bits, recapped:

— Turned out Sookie and her microwave hands really were valuable in subduing Russell. Except he apparently wanted to be captured.

— Sam’s bid to help Andy by going undercover and using his nose actually worked at the Stake House. He saved Andy’s life. I’m liking Andy this season, which is nice.

— Alcide has challenged Marcus’s stoned father for leadership of the Pack, and Rikki, the pretty one with the long brown and strategically placed hair, was the only one smart enough to support his bid.

— Jason’s latest dream was about his father saying, “The only thing you have to fear is…” and Jason woke up. Maybe there’s more to the dreams than fairy hijinks?

— Lafayette dropped in on Ruby, who said that Jesus’s current after-death problems are because of his grandfather, and that Jesus needs Lafayette’s help.

— Terry decided to leave Arlene and the kids in order to protect them, and Arlene came to the logical conclusion that he was off his meds. Actually, if all this fire monster stuff turned out to be a delusion of Terry’s, I’d probably be more on board.

Bits and pieces:

— Claude mentioned Claudette and a bunch of other fairies with Claud- prefix names. He also said there was no light fruit at the club. Clearly, no quick time passage, either.

— Roman mentioned that eighteenth century Austrian hemophiliac blood is expensive. That reminded me of an Eric short story about Dracula and the “royalty” bottled blood.

— Loved the defaced Steve Newlin cardboard cut out at the Stake House. And the Russell Edgington tee shirt.

— I seem to have a bunch of wardrobe comments. Roman was wearing a blue Nike polo shirt, not something you would ordinarily think of a vampire wearing. Sam really can’t pull off the hospital gown look. And Joe Manganiello shirtless? I’m starting to feel like there’s no point to a True Blood episode if it doesn’t include Joe Manganiello semi-nude.


Authority guy: “Who is Doug?”
Doug: “Oh, god.”
Poor Doug. I knew he’d end up dead.

Eric: (glamouring Alcide) “And you will always protect Sookie with your life.”
Alcide: “Yes.”
Eric: “And you will keep your hands off her, romantically speaking. She kind of disgusts you.”
Alcide: “Okay.”

Jessica: “What are you doing?”
Hoyt: “I’m exercising my constitutional right to be a dirty fangbanger.”

Alcide: “Anything you need?”
Sookie: “A fucking normal life?”

Sookie: (to Alcide) “Did you just recoil from me? Why? (pause) Fucking Eric.”

Ruby: “You got to go. Jesus is in trouble. Save Jesus!”
Lafayette: “I will.”
Ruby: “Jesus loves you. Even if you are an abomination.”

Arlene: “Every man I’ve ever dated… or married… has had some sort of secret big ball of pain.”

Eric: “Boy scout.”
Bill: “Delinquent.”

Jason: “That’s my sister, you fairy fuckers!”

Russell: “Peace is for pussies!”
Gad, I love him. What a guy.

What would you rate this one? I thought it was fast and fun and quite possibly four out of four iStakes,

Billie Doux

(Billie Doux and her contributing writers review science fiction, fantasy and cult television shows at


I'm a hopeless sci-fi geek and huge fan of shows like True Blood, Lost, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I write episode reviews and articles about many of the shows that I love. All of my reviews are at


  1. Daws

    July 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Did Roman really die? He didn’t completely splatter. I don’t know if Russell really drove the stake all the way through…or maybe they just cut out before Roman went POP!

    Salome being a traitor was too obvious. Unless Lilith turns out to be a real thing, the Authority plot has been rather blah.

    I’m more interested in the fairy stuff because that seems to be the only real mystery going on this season. I like the sexy Cirque Du Soleil fairy club 🙂 And kudos to Sookie for going to her “I’m going to screw everything up” instincts and trying to finger blast Claude. I was kinda of hoping the fairy blasters would have roasted her and been done with it. Just make it the Jessica and Ruby show 🙂

    Lala’s mamma is fabulous!

    • Sarah

      July 16, 2012 at 10:51 pm

      Meloni has said he’s dead, that it was “my swan song”. 🙁

    • BillieDoux

      July 16, 2012 at 10:53 pm

      Cirque du Soleil fairy club. Love it. 🙂

      • Saorse

        July 20, 2012 at 12:13 am

        Loved the review and the episode, but Billy…. did you notice Roman was also wearing Nike Pants? Slave to fashion….hmmm? ha ha

  2. Ian

    July 17, 2012 at 4:28 am

    a. Love the fairy strip club.
    b. I think the story line is growing too complex, too many threads, not enough time for each. The entire ifrit storyline could be dropped, at least for now.
    c. Somehow season 5 seems less focused to me than previous seasons.
    d. The Authority are a bunch of petulant and incompetent children. Just how did they maintain power for so long?

  3. Goldie Jean

    July 17, 2012 at 8:31 am

    Ian, I’m with you on that. I still don’t get the relationship between the monarchs and the Authority. If the Authority is the religious arm, why are there these petty bureaucrats?

  4. Lisa Foster

    July 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

    I don’t get how anyone could not LOVE what is happening this season! Russell Edgington is hilarious! He was so funny screaming at the guy in the asylum as he was being hauled away! “You might as well be praying to leprechauns or unicorns or the motherf****** Kardashians!” That has got to be the funniest thing I have ever heard him say! He is just pissed all the time! I love the storyline this year (with the exception of the Ifrit). And how many besides me see clearly that Bill is in on everything that is happening with the Authority? I love this season! And I am so glad that Alcide will not be sleeping with Sookie!! You go, Eric!

    • Nat

      July 17, 2012 at 2:17 pm

      I agree with you – I am really loving this season!!!

    • Michele

      July 18, 2012 at 10:13 am

      Nope it’s not just you, after last nights episode, Bill seems like he’s up to something, what i don’t know, but I hope we find out in the next episode!

      • Sookieeleana

        July 19, 2012 at 10:03 am

        There are definitely cracks beginning to show in the Bill / Eric relationship. Eric seems like he doesn’t quite trust him anymore.

        • Madeleine

          July 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm

          I don’t think Eric ever trusted Bill to begin with, and why should he? Working together, for now, is a necessity, nothing more. Eric is clever enough to realize that and go with it, as long as it serves the purpose, but that’s it.

  5. Marion

    July 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I absolutely loved this episode. It seemed like so much was happening. The only exception is the ifrit story line with Terry, et al – it holds zero interest for me. I like the characters but this storyline is boring.

    Another disappointment was Claude – for those fans of the book, he is described as being drop dead gorgeous. The actor chosen is fine but certainly not drop dead gorgeous. I realize that they aren’t following the books but the choice still surprised me.

    Other than that – can’t wait for next week!

    • Debi

      July 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

      Nice recap, thanks! Good episode finally showing how all these random things are coming to a big bang at the season’s end. Love the rouge fairy bar even is Claude turns out to be a bit of a twink. Bookies will be know he’s not what he seems…baby heads…lol. Poor Sookie and her fairy blood. Please let that dark vampire be Russell and not someone else we love.

      Jason “Vampire Hunter” in our future?

      What can I say about the weres…just always feel like I need a shower after scenes…ew. I am happy with Alcide being a lone wolf!

    • Kim O

      July 17, 2012 at 3:36 pm

      I agree about both the ifrit and Claude’s appearance!

  6. Lisa Foster

    July 17, 2012 at 10:25 am

    And do we really need Hoyt Fortenberry’s character any more? He has just gotten to the point of silly and unnecessary. He is kinda stalkerish and wimpy if you ask me! Please, please make him go away!

    • Passa

      July 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

      Well I like Hoyt, I don’t think he’s wimpy and unnecessary at all. Though I can understand why you and others might say that given he doesn’t really have that alpha personality like most of the male characters on True Blood have in some sort of form.

      I don’t think he’s stalker-ish either. It wasn’t like he knew Jessica was in the stall next to him and Tara. I think he really wanted to get his blood drained he didn’t do it for Jessica he did it for himself to probably fill his own empty void he had going on. Once he saw Jessica forced Tara off him then he thought Jessica probably still loved him and had some hope about it so he wanted to show off this new “bad” side of him that he thought Jessica would be attracted to, but of course that didn’t happened and instead she told him that he wasn’t being himself and left, which probably just brought back the emptiness he’s been trying to fill having these vampires feed on him. Seems he can’t win either way like he’ll never be good enough even if he’s just his goofy offbeat self or a very odd “bad” boy, got really depress and wanted that male vampire to drain him dry, but his life got spared…

      I think he’ll play a bigger role now, but we’ll just have to see. I just want him to have some sort of closure. I know many said they don’t like him after he said those bad things about/to Jessica, but really what person haven’t said anything extremely hurtful to a loved one at least once in their lifetime? Heck Bill and Eric done alot worst to Sookie than mere words. Sure, Hoyt isn’t perfect. He have done some wrong before, but I can’t think of a single perfect character on True Blood. lol

      Well Emma and Arlene’s kids haven’t done anything wrong, at least not yet. Not trying to change anyone’s opinion just lately I seen so much negativity toward Hoyt I just wanted to throw out a different perspective.

      • BillieDoux

        July 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

        Well said, Passa. I’m actually sort of hoping Hoyt will pretend to be on board with the supe killers in order to take them down. Hoyt is a good guy; he’s just really unhappy right now. And I probably should have said this in my review.

        • Thea

          July 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm

          I have been told there are five stages of grief and Hoyt seems to taking them all at once.

        • Passa

          July 18, 2012 at 10:00 pm

          Thank you. 🙂

          I’m sort of hoping the same about him, but with True Blood I guess anything could happen.

          And I like your review. 🙂

        • Jesse

          July 19, 2012 at 10:04 am

          Well, these guys will want to kill Jessica so I doubt Hoyt will be down with their agenda.

  7. J

    July 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Eric was awesome in this episode!!! So many good lines, and the best facial expressions ever, LOL!

    • Madeleine

      July 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

      Seconded! What was you favourite line? Mine was : Enough with this religious bullshit already, Lilith can f*** b** me!

      • J

        July 18, 2012 at 1:19 pm

        Loved that line!! Too funny!! =) Hmm I also love when he’s glamouring Alcide: “You will keep your hands off her, romantically speaking. She kind of disgusts you.” And then I love when Roman’s giving him that whole talk and he says “I do remain… a pacifist.” I also love when he calls Bill a boy scout, and then when Molly says: “Ironic..” Eric: “But Funny.”

        S0 great!! 🙂 🙂

        • Madeleine

          July 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm

          YEAH!! I totally agree with you, Alex just nailed it, I adore the way he delivers these lines. Though I have to admit Russell had some good ones as well, curious they’re so on the same “religion is for dummies” page.
          But what’s it with leprechauns? This is the second time (first Andy, now Russell) …
          And is Russell a fan of human celeb-shows? 😉

          • J

            July 18, 2012 at 7:49 pm

            Me too! And his facial expressions and hand motions were genius, he wouldn’t even have to say anything and I’d totally know what he was thinking by those gestures 🙂 :). Yes!! Russell was great! He was cracking me up! LOL, that is funny about the Leprechauns, and the Kardashian line, hahahahhaha, he doesn’t strike me as the sort of vampire that would watch that , LOL.

  8. Nat

    July 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Ok, so I’m obviously not the only one calling B.S. on the whole “vampires killed your parents” story that the fairies are feeding to Sookie and Jason. It makes absolutely NO sense – A vampire ambushed her parents because of a band-aid in the backseat?? NOPE! A vampire would have glamoured her parents to find out the source of the blood and Sookie would have been discovered a looooong time ago!

    • Elisha_Q

      July 18, 2012 at 2:13 am

      Plus even with no special powers her father had fairy blood too. Somehow I think that a whole person will have a much more intense smell than a band aid on the back seat.

  9. Kathy

    July 17, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    The Alfre Woodard scenes make me laugh out loud just thinking about them.

  10. Nat

    July 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Oh, I almost forgot! I am really enjoying Sookie this season too! Some of her lines have been hilarious – and I loved drunk Sookie!

  11. Kim O

    July 17, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    I don’t understand what Lillith stands for. Both sides see her meaning the complete opposite. How can this be? The Authority sees it as mainstreaming and Nora is thanking Lillith and she supports eating humans. Confused-please clarify if you can…:-)

    • Rina

      July 17, 2012 at 7:03 pm

      It’s not what Lilith stands for, it’s how the groups interpret her words. That’s pretty much the same with our bible and the constitution.

    • Bethany

      July 17, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      Lilith is supposed to be the “first Vampire” or (not being blasphemous here) the Vampire answer to Jesus. Just like in real life religions, there are different groups who read the “Vampire Bible” in different ways. Some take it litterally, and others take it as a guide, but not to the letter. I hope this helps clear things up for you. (Things will get more interesting if Lilith is for real however.)

  12. Adriana

    July 17, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    I thoroughly enjoyed this episode….its about time things got kicked into high gear!

    I think every member of the authority, with the exception of roman, are sanguinist! Ive been getting that vibe for the past 3 episodes….sunday seriously needs 2 come quicker! The suspense is gunna kill me!

    Miss Ruby J always steals the episode!!! TB needs more Lala and Ruby J scenes! 🙂

    What do you guys think about the whole Jesus situation?…if Jesus’ grandfather wants the family magic back from Lala, then that means Lala would have 2 b sacrified like Jesus was….but theres NO WAYY in hell TB would kill Lala….

    And is it just me or is Ruby J in a mental instituition for NO REASON?! It seems 2 me that Ruby J is also a medium…she did say she sees things she has no business seeing and cant explain it. Did u guys see Lala’s face when she said that?

    Sundays are officially my fave. day if the week….lol.

  13. Bethany

    July 17, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    I see a lot of people are upset about the Ifrit storyline. Personally, not my favorite, but I do see the reason they brought it in. There is another book series who believe the Ifrit are Gen who are evil and aline with Fire. True Blood is always looking for new Supes to include in the show, and this was a clever way to include a new Supe. This gives us a better insight into why Terry is a little off his own rocker as well. AND is a good way to play out the way Niall tortured him and all, since they don’t seem to be covering any of that part of the storyline.

    Was it just me, or did anyone else see a little Janalynne in that chicky Were who became Alcide’s 2nd?

    I think it was an incredible episode, and can’t imagine how this is going to play out.

  14. KnitWit

    July 17, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    I am also loving the Vampire story line this season. Russel’s return and the budding bromance is lots of fun!

    I am surprised how much I am enjoying Vampire Tara. Before this season, I was so tired of that character that I was rooting for her “true death”.

    I think Hoyt’s momma needs to talk some (non)sense into him. Maxine is a riot, but Hoyt bores me silly. The Vampire Authority massacred the wrong van of morons – they should have killed off the masked supe killers to make room for the more interesting story lines imho.

    I think fairy Claude is much more attractive than the Fabio clone conjured up in the books. I guess we each have our own definition of “gorgeous”.

    I could live without the ifrit and the Mexican demon possession story lines. I hope that seance shown in the preview ends both once and for all!

    I miss sassy, sexy LaLa!!! Wouldn’t it be a riot if he had Russel as his new Vampire boyfriend!

  15. Elisha_Q

    July 18, 2012 at 2:33 am

    The 18-th century bottled blood was strange. How would they keep it from coagulating for so long without modern preservatives.

    Otherwise this episode really rocked.
    Loved that Eric still cares for Sookie and Russel finally coming back.

    • Madeleine

      July 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

      Because that blood came from a haemophiliac, the disease itself prevents the blood from coagulating. I think it was a reference to the expensive, bottled, royal blood of the books since a lot of european nobilities had one or more family-members with that disease.

      • Elisha_Q

        July 18, 2012 at 12:02 pm

        Oh, yes, because o fall the inbreeding right. It’s also a refference to Alexei Romanov – Eric’s brother in the books. Still, even with a small amount of red blood cells, doesn’t seem probable to keep it for 3 centuries. “Royalty” had some small amount of preservatives too.

        • Madeleine

          July 18, 2012 at 2:25 pm

          Hmm, I always thought the amount of red blood cells is not reduced, there’s a clotting factor missing for all I know. Anyway, the bottle was sealed in a special way, so without oxygen getting in it would theoretically be possible to maintain the content poptable, almost like preserving fruit the old-fashioned way.

  16. Melanie

    July 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    I liked the episode. It had some really good lines. I love Ruby!

    Hoyt and Jessica are sooo over. I really liked the idea of a Tara/Jessica friendship, especially since it seems that the Tara/Sookie friendship is over. And I love Pam! She is sooo….cool!

    I still want Sookie and Eric together and I love the glamouring of Alcide by Eric especially the “…she kind of disguists you…”

    I am always looking forward to sunday nights.

    • Liz

      July 19, 2012 at 5:29 pm

      That made me so angry. Once again, Eric is taking Sookie’s life into his own hands and who gave him that right? HE made the decision that Alcide stay away from Sookie. What right does he have to do that? Eric was wrong and I loved Sookie’s reaction when she found out what he’d done. Eric once again shows himself to be a selfish jerk, where Sookie is concerned.

      • trisha

        July 25, 2012 at 9:13 am

        Oh, come on, he knew perfectly well that Sookie would find out immediately what he’d done (and he SAW that she could solve it)…
        Of course it was a jealous jerk move, but I seriously doubt he expected it to actually work. He was just having fun and sending a message.

        And Sookie wasn’t really that angry either to be honest.. though she has all the right to be.
        And interestingly, she doesn’t know the “protecting her” part of the glamouring, or that before going to her house, Eric wanted to just leave her alone as she wanted.

        On the other hand, she gets the usual Bill Speech about wanting her to be human and happy without him, but she doesn’t know that he was the one who decided to get her help in the first place… and NOT GIVE HER A CHOICE (his own words). Typical.

        • Liz

          July 25, 2012 at 10:54 am

          While I can appreciate your wanting to defend your favorite character on the show by adding your own justifications, even though we never saw any of them played out on screen and I’m pretty sure you weren’t in the writer’s room as they penned that scene, Eric’s actions were selfish and controlling. And Sookie was angry though you don’t want to admit it because you desperately want Sookie and Eric together always. I get it. Here’s the thing that you are refusing to allow: Eric was a Viking warrior – ruthless and used to conquering and taking control. That is who he is. That is his character. I don’t hate him. This is who he was written to be and nothing will change that. But these characteristics cannot win in a world where women wish to be their own person, make their own decisions and choices and live their own lives. This is where Eric fails. His methods have kept him alive and successful for 1000 years but they won’t work on Sookie.

          Bill comes from a different time period altogether and was a soldier and family man, and he is young enough to remember his humanity. Neither one of these guys are saints, and I adore them both for the vampires that they are. However, I am not blind to their faults and wrong actions and I am first and foremost a Sookie fan. I stand by what I say – Eric was completely wrong.

  17. Dawn C

    July 19, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    The only thing I’m not really enjoying is this Smoke Monster thing.
    The rest of the show was much better than the last few episodes. 🙂
    The writers are really doing well with Jason’s dialogue, unless that came out of Harris’s book. Not sure.

  18. Truebie

    July 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Yeah Jason’s killing it this year! Ryan really is a wonderful actor…. And so pretty!!

  19. TrueLove

    July 21, 2012 at 8:07 am

    Reading your comments it occurred to me that maybe the Jason vamp hunter direction and Hoyt being taken by supe killer story lines will eventually bring Jason and Hoyt back together, working as a team. Can’t wait to find out!