Recap 5.9 True Blood “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”

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"Everybody Wants to Rule the World"Eric: “You’d better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God.”

Lots of plotlines this season, yes. But most of them have been revolving around the same theme: humans that think supes are subhuman, and supes who, like people, are all over the map. Surprisingly, two big plot threads were actually resolved in this episode. I hadn’t expected that.

Everyone who theorized that Bud Dearborne’s girlfriend was the Dragon behind the supe shooters should pat themselves on the back. Bud and his sweetie, whose name is actually Sweetie, decided to start a KKK-like “keep America human” movement, because of course, that always ends well. Our human heroes Andy and Jason, together with our shifter heroes Sam and Luna, saved the day as well as the lives of Sookie and Hoyt. I think the best part was Sam fighting while stark naked, and Luna beating the crap out of Sweetie. Go, Luna.

It’s ironic that Andy thinks he’s a bad cop and a poor successor to Bud when actually, Andy is the best he’s ever been. Sad that he had to shoot Bud, though.

Bud was the one who found the bodies of the Stackhouses twenty years ago, and he said they were indeed killed by vampires, just as the striptease fairies told Sookie. And vampires really are planning to take over the world, just as they told her. Maybe this particular group of fairies really are the good guys. Lafayette even confirmed that Gran was glad the fairies were watching over Sookie. Although Lafayette uncovering the clue under the bed nearly got Sookie killed.

The second resolved plotline was Terry’s, and actually, I thought it ended particularly well. Terry saying goodbye to Arlene was truly sweet. And Arlene taking down Patrick was satisfying, although I didn’t like seeing Terry kill in cold blood. I hope the Ifrit and any associated plotlines are now gone for good. Yeah, that’ll happen.

Meanwhile back at Authority HQ, I was bummed when Bill betrayed Eric. (And just when I thought those two were finally becoming BVFFs.) Bill does appear to have that manic Lilith glow in his eyes, but is he truly a convert or does he have a bigger anti-Authority long game? I’m not a huge Bill fan, but I’d hate to see him go that way after all the time he spent living down his evil past.

Plus I’ve always been convinced that Bill truly does love Sookie. “What about Sookie? She just food to you now?” I guess she is. At least that would leave the field clear for my favorite vampire, Eric. I’m really enjoying Eric acting heroically. And I loved his scene with Molly. I hope Molly survives the season.

The other big development was the arrival of Alcide’s father in the form of sci-fi icon Robert Patrick, complete with a flashback to Herveaux senior as packmaster, and Alcide and Debbie Pelt as teenagers choosing pack over individuality. Segue to Russell and his new honey Steve Newlin (I just love the two of them as a couple) arriving to take over the Shreveport pack, as expected.

And now Steve has the werepuppy he’s always wanted. I bet our hero shifters Luna and Sam will have something to say about that.

But wait! There’s more:

— Pam was smart to keep serving Tru-Blood at Fangtasia, and acting like nothing was wrong. Unfortunately, the new sheriff just showed up and told all the vamps to “grab a human. Drinks are on me.” Somehow, I suspect he’s met his match in Pam and Tara.

— Martha was the only were in the Shreveport pack to stand up to Russell. Go, Martha. I’ve become a Martha fan. Is it easier for the actors to work with a half-grown puppy than a little girl?

— Steve Newlin has gone so far from his religious roots that he recited a limerick prayer over that poor guy chained to the dinner table.

— When Alcide came by his father’s trailer, Herveaux senior, the gambler, was watching dog racing. Love the little details on this show.

— The good continuity award goes to Sweetie’s minions torching that house in season one, and a return to the boots at Bud’s retirement party.

— Sweetie Des Arts was a book character whose name fans of the book probably would have recognized, so it was smart of them to keep the character under wraps for so long. I loved the little detail that Sweetie’s husband left her for a were-racoon.

— Gran guiding Sookie to the box under the bed (through Lafayette) reminded me of another book plot involving a fairy object, but no. I’m being intentionally vague here so as not to post book spoilers, so remember, no book spoilers. 🙂

Bits and pieces:

— Three of the five Tru-Blood factories are no more: Houston, Japan and Kuwait.

— I didn’t get anything at

— Loved Jason’s framed report card.

— Vampires don’t poop. Do they pee?

— Salome danced for Bill. Wow, that was some outfit. Why is she fixated on Bill?


Steve: “Here’s a tried and true one from my human days. ‘There once was a cock and a hen, who gave lunch to a goose in a pen. Good lord, said the goose, bless this food for our use, and us to thy service. Amen.”

Eric: (to Molly) “Oh, please. I’m a thousand years older than you. Put the baby fangs away before you piss me off.”

Eric: “I don’t speak techie. Translate.”
Molly: “We’re totally fucking fucked. Unless…”
Eric: “Unless what?”
Molly: “Probably a really stupid idea and it’ll probably get you killed.”
Eric: “Sounds perfect.”

Lafayette: “The rest of y’all? I ain’t Gmail for dead bitches. Send your own goddam messages.”

Sam: “You’re really fucking annoying!”
Luna: “And you’re old fashioned and surprisingly sexist.”

Pam: “There are two things I try to stay away from: humans who eat a lot of fish, and politics. So whatever comes next, we keep our heads down, our tits up, and the Tru Blood flowing. Understand?”

Pam: “Just because we drank a bitch together does not make us Oprah and Gayle. Get the fuck back to work.”
Tara: “Suck me, vampire barbie.”
I now love these two together. Who knew? Although they’ll never be a replacement for the relationship between Eric and Pam. And Pam knows it, too.

Lafayette: “Dead folk, why y’all gotta be so cryptic? It ain’t cute.”

Idiot reporter: “Sheriff Bellefleur! Is it true that Barack Obama is actually behind the recent unsolved shootings and the kidnapping of a local vampire?”
Andy: (sarcastically) “No, the president of the United States is not actually in Reynard parish shooting and kidnapping people.”

Sweetie: “She sure as shit ain’t human. She’s a mind reader with electric fingers and a fetish for fangers. If that ain’t a supe, I don’t know what the hell is.”

Russell: “Did you think my blood was free? You silly, silly dog.”

It looks like Russell, the Authority plot and the Stackhouse murder mystery will be the focus of the final episodes this season, and that’s fine with me. How many limerick prayers out of four?

Billie Doux

(Billie Doux and her contributing writers review science fiction, fantasy and cult television shows at


I'm a hopeless sci-fi geek and huge fan of shows like True Blood, Lost, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I write episode reviews and articles about many of the shows that I love. All of my reviews are at


  1. Eva

    August 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    For the first time this season I enjoyed this episode, my favorite plot this season has to be Pam and Tara. Even though Pam is a scary vampire, Tara isn’t afraid to stand up to her maker “Suck me vampire barbie” lol. Eric my favorite character, despite being a bad boy who only cares about himself is the voice of reason. To quote Nan ” I mean, what the f..k Bill?” I miss Nan, I don’t care for Bill and at first I thought it was all for show but the way he betrayed the hot viking makes me dislike him even more.
    I must say I was extremely happy that scene when he was getting it on with Sookie was just him imagining it. Bud and Sweetie, Terry and the ifrit I am glad these story lines are over. I really hope the next three episodes are filled with a lot of action and great story lines and more of hot viking vampire Eric being a smart ass and a hero all in one. Favorite Pam line this season for me; we keep our heads down, tits up and the tru blood flowing lol.

  2. Holly

    August 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    There were so many great quotes from this episode, but I especially loved the Pam/Tara interactions. Is it just me, or is Pam beginning to like Tara in spite of herself?

    • Ellen

      August 7, 2012 at 9:27 am

      Not just you, dear.

  3. Truebie

    August 7, 2012 at 3:48 am

    Bill saw Lilith again after drinking Salome’s blood. Do you think it was her blood that everyone thought was Lilith’s? Do you think that maybe Salome is something more than vampire? Perhaps a vamp/fae hybrid?

    • Ellen

      August 7, 2012 at 9:26 am

      I’m thinking that maybe Warlow and Salome are both the same kind of thing. If the vial is Salome’s blood, her blood can make vampires high, like fae blood. If Salome created some elaborate illusion for Bill this episode, with Sookie and Lilith, that also hints towards her other-than-vampireness. Fairies can create illusions, remember? And Warlow is able to psychically bond with Sookie, so he could be some other-than-vampire thing, too.

    • J

      August 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      I’ve been wondering about Salome too, it was only after he drank her blood that Lillith appeared, so I’m thinking Salome’s blood was in the vial all along…. I’m not sure exactly what she is though…..

    • Andrea

      August 8, 2012 at 10:41 pm

      I had never thought of Salome as other than vampire, but that is a very interesting thought. I find it strange that in a matter of days, Salome, and her Sangunista hoard, were able to get Bill to do what Loreana, wasn’t able to after years and years.

  4. Helen

    August 7, 2012 at 5:21 am

    I truly think that Bill has lost his way and is 100% under Salome/Lilith’s spell. If a vision of Sookie couldn’t stop him then I don’t know what can. I only hope Eric can save the day and drag Bill and Nora back to Bon Temps!

    I’m also glad that the Ifrit and Sweetie storylines are over now, means more time focussing on Sookie’s search for her parents’ murderer.

  5. Jen

    August 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    the new sheriff is clearly MICKEY!! and i love the way they are pairing him with Tara. Thought they just woulkd skip this book plot when they did the Franklin thing. Kinda confused as to why Luna’s daughter is always shown as a pup and not a little girl…

  6. Madeleine

    August 7, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Speaking of details, was it just me or did the shovel remind you of Rene and the pigs of Mary-Ann too? And the hilarious Jason quote is missing (“Maybe they just don’t wanna be recognized”).
    Eric and Molly were great together, I didn’t really care for her but now I hope she survives the season.
    Newlin getting baby-wolf Emma as a “present” was just awful, he needs to go.
    Are there really only three episodes left? Oh-oh …..

    • Jessica

      August 8, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      I think Molly could stick around. Eric doesn’t give his trust quickly and she has stood by his side. I think he’ll do what he can to protect her and he could use someone like her by his side once this is all over–I don’t see a romantic link, but a business relationship in the future.

  7. Gail

    August 7, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    Apparently they are still not telling us who is ex-preacher Steve Newlin’s maker unless I somehow missed that one. I assume it is Salome. It was really sad then Russell pulled little Emma in wolf pup form out of her grandma Martha’s arms. It is clear Martha deeply loves Emma and her horror and anguish felt so real when Steve and Russell walked out with pup Emma. My heart really went out to her. My respect for Martha has really gone up several notches with her strength to stand apart from the weak pack druggies and refuse Russell’s “blood control”. I hope they don’t kill Martha off I am starting to like her.
    Did anyone else notice how Russell’s phony genteel southern accent changed to a German one when he was choking JD down for telling him he could not take Emma?

  8. Kris

    August 7, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    4 limerick prayers out of 4. Best episode yet. I am so relieved too cause this season I thought True Blood was kind of going sour. But, I am hopeful now that the rest of the season is gonna kick butt!

  9. Doris

    August 7, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    I’m with all of you, best Episode this Season! 🙂 Hoping that we will get for the last episodes Sookie and her Vamps (or at least Eric) back together in Bon Temps working together! I kind of miss sookie and some vamps! 😉

  10. Kim

    August 7, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    -Kudos to Martha. Like her character now.
    -Love the fact that Sam’s butt is pasty white. It’s not like he has any time to be hitting the spa.
    -I believe the faeries that Sookie and Jason are dealing with are all good-not the evil ones from before.
    -Have you noticed they’ve been dressing Sookie in loose-fitting clothes lately? Keeping her pregnancy hidden pretty well I think.
    -Like Tara more this season than in past seasons.

  11. Jessica

    August 8, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    i would have liked to see more of Sweetie from the first season to now so we could really understand her point of view more especially since they used a passing character who at first you would think was just an extra. Sookie briefily read her mind walking through Merlotte’s while she was eating fries and now she shows up as the leader of a hate-group. I LOVE the continuity but I think seeing her pop in every now and then at Merlottes over the past couple seasons would have been fun too.

    I also like how Bud Dearborne was pulled into the plot when he seemed to leave so abruptly before.

    I am also loving Steve and Russell and I’m dying to know who Steve’s maker is. I wonder if we’ll ever see Sarah again now that Steve is associated with the AVL on TV?

    the season so far is unexexpected and very good–still bringing in elements of the books that we thought may be less exciting than other plots, but putting new spins on the plots and adding new ones. I love Pam and Tara together–I knew I would–both sassy. I think Tara is finally finding herself as a vampire. Eventually, she will forgive Sookie and Lafayette because like Pam, she will love being a vampire and appreciate the gift. I don’t think it will be perfect between them, but I really hope they come together to save Eric from the Authority.

    Not sure what to say about Bill–I think it would be fun this season to end with Eric as the hero and with Bill’s character in question going into season 6. That would be a cliffhanger I’d like to see.

  12. Thea

    August 8, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    Tara and Pam are both growing as characters and that’s a good thing.

    I got no problem with terry shooting Patrick. Anything to end the subplot.

    Still loving my Viking

    Likes molly. Hope to see her next season

    What did Martha think was gonna happen when she found JD on V? only rainbows and sunshine?

    Lala is back to being my boo

    What man, vamp or human, would trust Salome? I mean, really?

  13. Cindy

    August 9, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    Remember when we were first introduced to Salome? Didn’t Roman say she was his secret weapon? And it seems he wanted her to spend time alone with both Bill and Eric and then report back to him. When she did, she was able to tell Roman that Bill was searching for something to believe in, and Eric just believed in himself, or something close to that. She told Roman that they were both trustworthy. How would she know that? Can she read minds like Sookie, except with vampires? Maybe she is some sort of hybrid…..go back and watch the episodes where she first appears and it seems they are dropping clues about her.

    And is Sookie out of fairy power? Her hands no longer worked….