Recap: “Beyond Here Lies Nothin'”

Maryann: “Come on. It’ll be our little secret. What are you?”
Sookie: “I’m a waitress. What the fuck are you?”

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Wildly weird. Or maybe weirdly wild. The season roared to a finish halfway through the episode… and then it sort of fizzled out as they spent way too much time prepping us for season three, creating something of an anticlimax. I feel cheated.

Okay, I was happy with a lot of it. The Maryann plotline hasn’t held me like the Fellowship stuff, but the ending was certainly satisfying and fun to watch. I loved Sam’s extraordinary heroism and sacrifice, and his secret alliance with Bill that saved the day. Night. Whatever.

The wedding/sacrifice scenes culminating in Maryann’s death by bull were visually striking and so full of over-the-top symbolism that I almost don’t know where to start. Licking the egg was just nuts. (So glad it was just an ostrich egg and nothing more wildly fantastic and unbelievable.) The phallic, bloody sacrificial knife. The horn piercing Maryann’s wedding dress. In the end, before collapsing in a mess of black goo, Maryann was somewhat pathetic — an ancient bride longing for her god who will never, ever come.

Tara said it didn’t feel like it was over. I hope it is, though. I’ve had enough. Maybe Tara was referring to poor Eggs, who just committed suicide by cop. Except it was suicide by Jason. (It was good of Andy to cover for Jason the way he did.)

Was Sookie remarkably strong all of a sudden with the purple electric hands and all? And how about that little off-hand comment about Sookie’s blood being addictive, too? After the revelation about Eric’s blood, I had wondered if Sookie actually does love Bill. Now I’m wondering if Bill actually loves Sookie? (Since Eric hasn’t tasted Sookie, he may be the only one who is truly in touch with his feelings.)

Bill proposing after all that strange pseudo-wedding hoohah was odd timing and just didn’t work for me. Or Sookie, for that matter. Why wasn’t Sookie thrilled out of her mind? Why did she go into the bathroom and burst into tears? Is her fascination with Bill waning? (Please please please?) Bill was kidnapped by someone using a silver chain (and wearing gloves, pointing at someone undead.) I’m betting on Lorena, of course; lots of set-up for that. Although it could have been Eric, who told the Queen he’d “take care” of Bill.

Speaking of Eric… as the episode wound to a close, I was glancing at the clock and getting frustrated and muttering to myself. As hilarious as I found the very idea of Eric forced to play five million games of Yahtzee, I couldn’t believe that they set up all that stuff with Eric and the Queen and didn’t follow through. I’m not just all about the love triangle, honestly. I’m interested in Sookie’s powers. I want to know about Sam’s family. I’m deeply into Jessica and Hoyt’s star-crossed mother-trumping romance. But if they come back in season three and don’t do something major with Eric’s obsession with Sookie, I’m going to implode.

I was outright sad to see Jessica go off the rails, especially after she and Bill finally connected in such a sweet way. If only she had waited a bit longer until Hoyt showed up with the flowers. Although Hoyt needs more than a girlfriend. He needs to find himself first, not Jessica. For that matter, so does Jessica.

Bits and pieces:

— I thought Sam needed to see an animal in order to imprint on it? I suppose showing him going to some field and looking at a bull would have given the ending away. For that matter, I kept thinking Maryann would decide to sacrifice Sookie instead of the harder-to-find Sam. But no.

— Maryann’s statue represented the birth of her god. Apparently, the Titans ripped her god to shreds, leaving only his heart. It makes the hearts sort of make… well, no, it doesn’t make sense, it’s crazy, but okay.

— Andy got his badge back. He deserved it.

— The Queen is supplying the blood Lafayette is selling. Is it her own blood? Why would she do that?

— Whatever Sookie is, Jason isn’t. He wasn’t able to resist Maryann.

— Terry’s “warning” tee shirt was great.

— Crazy Jane Bodehouse got her finger sewn back on. That’s improbable, but okay.

— Vampire-human marriage is only legal in Vermont. 🙂

— I think the Queen really digs Eric.

— Charlaine Harris cameo in the bar. Very nice. Charlaine, I hope you’re making a ton of cash right now. You deserve it.

copyright HBO

— Sam’s real parents are Melinda and Joe Lee Mickens, Magnolia, Ark. I’m sure we’ll be meeting them next season.

Quotes:

Queen: “I gave William Compton a few bits of hand-me-down folklore we’ve accumulated over the centuries, but who knows if it’s gospel or gorilla shit.”

Jason: “Hasta la vista, baby. I love the smell of nail polish in the morning.”

Sookie: “Okay, what is with the egg? Did you lay it?”

Bud: “You might have your faults, Andy. But at least you got pants on.”

Sookie: “How long before sunrise?”
Bill: “Forty-one minutes.”
Sookie: “Hold me for forty?”
That was sweet. It probably would have made a good ending.

Andy: “In my book, if no one thinks we’re heroes, it don’t count.”
Jason: “Of course it counts. It’s like, if a tree falls in the woods, it’s still a tree, ain’t it?”

Mrs. Merlotte: “We never thought we’d see you again.”
Sam: “Never say never when there’s the internet.”

I may not have been completely satisfied, but True Blood has been the best thing on television this summer. I can’t wait for next June. I’d say three out of four stakes. Not perfect, but there have been worse finales.

Billie
BillieDoux.com

All of my True Blood reviews are archived here.
(Season 2, episode 12)