SPOILERS: A List of True Blood Goodies Coming in Season 3

True Blood season 3 starts on June 13, and E!’s Kristin Dos Santos is generously easing the wait with a pile of spoilers. Either that or she’s cruelly taunting us with her advance knowledge.

Randall: I saw on Twitter that you got the first few episodes of True Blood. Please let us know what you think!
I think I’m so very grateful for Alan Ball and his cast and crew right now, because the next few months of TV would be looking so bleak if not for this Sunday’s return of TB. It’s just as gripping and shocking and hilarious as before, and you can keep reading for more juice! Also, I’m going to be interviewing the entire True Blood cast tomorrow night at the show’s premiere party in Hollywood, so please help me out with some good questions by tweeting them to me @kristindsantos!

Wendell: What’s the word on True Blood? Are Sookie and Bill really over?
They’re so not in a happy place. But one of them will be in a sexy place. Here’s what I can tell you about the first three episodes: Either Bill or Sookie has sex with someone, and it is hands-down the most unforgettable (you will have dreams/nightmares afterward!) sex scenes in the entire run of True Blood so far. Here’s what else you can expect from the first three episodes:

1. Someone tries to commit suicide.
2. Someone tries to kill a sibling.
3. Someone loses his head.
4. Someone is pregnant.
5. Someone has a one night stand–and it’s the last person you’d expect.
6. Someone has an underground sex marathon–and it’s the first person you’d expect.
7. There are more bare backsides than a gym locker room, and one belongs to one Mr. Alexander Skaarsgård. This just in from Alan Ball: You’re welcome.

Now I’m nervous and excited. Think you know any of these? Post your guesses below!