RECAP: True Blood 4.06 “I Wish I Was the Moon”

Sookie: “But if you turn into a panther, won’t the handcuffs just fall off?”

It’s the full moon, and we got another cohesive and fun episode about transformation. And Sookie and Eric made love in the moonlight. About time. Did we really have to wait three and a half seasons for this?

Where was I? Oh, yes. Sookie had a point about everyone in Bon Temps changing into something else.

Eric into sweetheart

Arrogant Viking vampire Eric Northman has turned into a man that Sookie can love. And I think she does. This was by far their most romantic episode. Sookie was very protective of Eric, to the point of exchanging vicious insults with Bill. (I’m liking Sookie a lot lately.) And Eric doesn’t want to remember his past. When Eric said he would go to the true death knowing what it meant to love, I was actually freaking a bit. (After what happened to Claudine, nothing Alan Ball does with these characters can surprise me.) Thankfully, we got sex instead of death. Definitely my preference.

After lying to the Authority to get Eric condemned to death, Bill changed his mind and let him go. Maybe Bill’s full moon transformation was that he stopped being a jerk. Or maybe he’s just still in love with Sookie. Bill knew that if he killed Eric, Sookie would never forgive him. I can’t quite believe that he felt pity for Eric. Not after burying him in cement last season.

I’ll admit I want my barbarian Viking thug back. Eric has always been fun. Can’t old Eric and new Eric sort of smoosh together and become a more perfect Eric? You can’t tell me Sookie didn’t like the old Eric, too.

Jason into werepanther. Or not

Jason talked like he was terrified of transforming, but in fact, part of him was looking forward to being special, like his sister. That was actually rather sweet, and very much in character. I’m really glad the episode didn’t end with a predictable shot of Jason’s hand starting to turn into a claw or something. Instead, we got Eric and Sookie having sex by the… okay, back to the review.

It’s nice to know Jessica enjoys being a vampire, considering the circumstances under which she was turned. It’s also really nice to know that Jason is too decent to hit on Jessica, even under circumstances like these. I mean, there they were, out in the woods under a romantic full moon, and Jessica is apparently attracted to Jason. (Maybe it’s Jason’s fairy blood.) I wonder where they’re going with this one.

Tommy into Sam

Back in my review of “You Smell Like Dinner“, I said I could definitely see Tommy shifting in to Sam in order to fool around with Luna. Okay. Tommy didn’t do it deliberately, but he sure took advantage of the situation. And just when I was feeling bad for Tommy. I don’t suppose it killed him? If it didn’t, Sam may do the job when he finds out Tommy had sex with Luna and fired Sookie. If I were Tommy, I’d regain consciousness PDQ and leave town. And get some serious therapy.

Marnie into Antonia

You know, Marnie was incredibly stupid to let Antonia take over, but we all knew it was going to happen. Although I didn’t think Marnie would live through it. Maybe she won’t.

The flashbacks finally reached their conclusion, and we saw the vampire priests getting necromanced out of their coffins as Antonia burned. And boy howdy, they really deserved it. Especially Luis, who certainly deserves what he’s about to get in the present. But Bill, Eric, Pam and Jessica don’t deserve it, and they’re the Bon Temps vamps who are now in danger.

Speaking of fires (definitely another season four recurring theme), who was that beautiful black woman in the old-fashioned dress and hair who saved the Bellefleur kids? I got the feeling she was somehow attached to the doll.

Well, at least it wasn’t a bunny rabbit

Meanwhile, somewhere in Mexico, Jesus and Lafayette are sacrificing a rattlesnake so Jesus can turn himself into his evil, powerful grandfather. This is such a bad idea. Big bad brujo grandpa was actually right about Marnie inviting possession. And there’s a lot of that going around, as Lafayette transformed into Tio Luca, who looked scary was apparently a healer.

Tara transformed back into Tara Thornton, and she and her girlfriend whose name I just can’t recall may be about to turn into Pam’s dinner. And Debbie transformed back into… okay, I won’t say it. But what she wants is more important to her than Alcide is. And Alcide doesn’t like being forced into a pack. He was looking at Sookie again. This can’t end well.

Bits and pieces:

— Loved the Eric/Bill fight in the opener, mostly because Eric was tossing Bill around like stuffed animal. Because Eric is a whole lot older, of course.

— Sam Trammell did a great Marshall Allman imitation. In fact, I thought Sam Trammell did a great job, period.

— Terry and Arlene lost their house. But at least Terry saved the armadillo under the bed. Why weren’t he and Arlene looking for Cobe and Lisa? I thought I heard Terry say something about the kids when they were running for the door screaming for the baby, so I have to assume he checked and didn’t find them.

— Holly lost her home, too. And she’s apparently about to start dating Andy. Maybe she can put a spell on him and get him off V, because I’m so tired of him being an ass.

— Shifters can’t be made, they can only be born. Good to know.

— You know, the goat didn’t exactly come to Jesus when he was little. It was tied up.

— Poor Pam can feel herself rotting. Fortunately, she’s still funny.

Quotes:

Eric: “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Sookie: “Only because you can’t remember anything else.”

Pam: “Let me tell you a little something about ‘King Bill’. He’s a self-loathing, power-hungry pompous little dork, and you hate his guts.”

Pam: “You are a Viking vampire god, and you bow to no one. If someone crosses you, you rip out their liver with one fang.” Love the imagery.

Sam: “At least you all are okay. That’s what matters, right?”
Arlene: “Yeah, okay. The ghost of my serial-killing ex-fiance just tried to murder us in our sleep. We’re just peachy.”

Sam: “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop fucking with me, I’m gonna turn into a Doberman and chew off your goddam face.”
Andy: “Then I will call animal control and have you put to sleep.”

Lala: “Goat tongue for breakfast. Wow. It smells… well done. Yummy.”

Jason: “It’s like a werewolf except it’s a big ass cat.”

Jason: “The second I start sprouting fur, I want you to shoot me right in the head.”
Sookie: “I’m not gonna shoot you.”
Jason: “But you promised.”
Sookie: “I promised I take care of you.”
Jason: “What you think that meant? Change my kitty litter?”

Sookie: “I thought witches were just in fairy tales.”
Jason: “Or that goth store at the mall buying pentagram stretch pants. Scary.”

Jason: “I’m a police officer and a were panther! Back off!”

Sookie: “You’ve already helped me more than you know. Go shed, kill stuff, do whatever werewolves do. I got this.”

Eric: “Sookie. Tell her I was born the night she found me. And because of her, I went to my true death knowing what it means to love.” Awww. You know, it’s not easy pulling off a line like this. Skarsgard is doing such a terrific job with amnesiac Eric.

Any episode that begins *and* ends with Sookie and Eric making passionate love gets four out of four sacrificed rattlesnakes,

Billie Doux

(Billie Doux and her contributing writers review science fiction, fantasy and cult television shows at BillieDoux.com.)