Letters to True Blood Cast/Crew: Dear Martha, Don’t ever do that again

Welcome to our annual Letters to Cast/Crew feature. This season we’re going with a new theme called Don’t Ever Do That Again. In last Sunday’s premiere episode, “Turn! Turn! Turn!”, Marcus’ mother, Martha, displayed quite an unusual form of motherly love for her dearly departed son. I caught the scene purely by accident. Just follow along, you’ll get the idea.

Dear Martha,

First of all, please accept my condolences on the loss of your son, Marcus. Do I understand that he was your only son? All the more reason for sorrow. Marcus wasn’t what I’d call a model father or husband but we all love our children in spite of their short-comings.

You have an odd way of showing your love, Martha. I have to admit to a certain amount of shock upon witnessing your consumption of Chicken-McMarcus. Is this a common practice among your pack? Should we expect to see more of the same with other pack mothers or is this a ritual saved only for the elite? I mean, I just want to be better prepared next time. Most people bring a donation in a sympathy card, or just the card or flowers. Should I just stick with that or bring my picnic blanket and a fork? These things are important.

I suppose if you think about it, your way is a lot more economical. Headstones and coffins are quite expensive these days. It might help to make nicey-nice with the vampires. I think I heard they get discounts on their coffins and they’re quite stylish. Bill Compton’s looks like a shiny silver bullet, oddly enough.

Well, I must scoot now but let me know if you need anything – house cleaning, laundry, shopping, anything. As far as meals go I’m pretty sure I can offer up half of Merlotte’s patrons.

By the way Martha, don’t ever do that again.

Sincerely,
Denny’s Open-All-Night