Recap 5.3 True Blood “Whatever I Am, You Made Me”

“Just imagine it’s a training bra.”

Yummy. More flashbacks.

So far this season, my favorite scenes have all been Pam in 1905. And this episode’s installment was the best so far. We not only got Bill and Lorena being very naughty with one of Pam’s girls, we also saw Eric making love with the human Pam, and the reveal that she longs to be a vampire herself because she hates her life and doesn’t want to die alone of syphilis. Slashing her wrists and arms in order to get Eric to turn her was actually quite touching.

(What fun that we also got to see Eric and Bill meeting, and clashing, for the first time. Was their relationship always combative? Eric was a much nicer and more human-friendly vamp than Bill back in the day. Bill has no excuse, other than the influence of the evil Lorena; he wasn’t a baby vamp at the time, after all.)

Of course, we’re getting these flashbacks to Pam’s beginnings because we’re now seeing Tara as a confused and violent baby vampire. (I hope we’re going to get to see Pam flashbacks as a baby vampire, too.) The opening scene with Tara experiencing her new and exciting vampire senses was, again, right out of Anne Rice; Dan even started quoting Interview with the Vampire while we were watching it. Interesting that Tara is suicidal as a vampire, while Pam was suicidal as a human, although I’m betting the tanning bed at Curl Up & Fry was more of a cry for help. After all, if a vampire is seriously suicidal, all they have to do is wait for the sun to come up, like Godric did.

Debbie Pelt’s parents have shown up and the search for Debbie is on. I was surprised and perturbed that Sookie told Alcide exactly what happened. Alcide has been somewhat blind to reality where Debbie is concerned, so what if his love for his ex kicks in and makes him do something stupid? (It was self-defense, for the most part. Sookie really should have called the cops, one of which is her brother.) At least Sookie and Lafayette are still supporting each other, although Lala is having trouble with the Debbie Pelt deception and the fact that his cousin is sleeping in the walk-in at Merlotte’s. (How were they feeding their customers without access to the walk-in?)

I was pretty unhappy to see Jesus’s demon face show up in Lafayette’s mirror image. This can’t be good. And we still don’t know where Jesus’s body is.

I liked the Guardian, Roman, a little better this time than last. And Salome is a piece of work, isn’t she? She seduced Bill and Eric and was in bed with Roman at the end of the episode. Roman was definitely walking the talk about humans and mainstreaming and Salome appears to be his secret weapon, but she has some Sanguinista leanings, doesn’t she? And what fun that she’s *the* Salome, of John the Baptist fame. Although the way she told it made it sound like she was just an abused teenager.

Finally, after running into a former teacher who was his first lover, Jason is starting to see his bed-hopping behavior as it really is — an unsuccessful attempt to fill the empty emotional holes he has inside him. A hot affair with Jessica just isn’t enough for him any more, and you know what? I like him for it. Ryan Kwanten has done such a good job with his character that it’s working for me. And I absolutely despised Jason in season one. Bravo, Ryan Kwanten.

Way too many plot lines, recapped:

— So Steve Newlin is the new Nan Flanagan. Perfect for his character. I liked Nan, but I love Steve.

— Tina Majorino from Veronica Mars works for Authority and fit Eric and Bill with their very own extremely fatal i-Stakes. Again, hilarious.

— Nora confessed to being a Sanguinista and is slated for execution. Did she do it to protect Eric?

— Terry is leaving with his war buddy Patrick and he’s not saying why. And I still don’t care.

— Andy managed to take a nude picture with a nasty caption pretty much in stride. After being such a mess for so long, he does seem to be more on top of things this season, at least so far. And he appears to be happy with Holly in spite of her horrible sons.

— Who was the male fairy who was picking up a dress for his sister at “Tracy’s Togs”? I’m betting it’s a book character named Claude.

— Wow, that’s a new look for Hoyt. The eyeliner, the desperation; he wants to be eaten. I bet Pam was thinking about her dead working girls as she was looking at Hoyt.

— Not so much as a glimpse of Russell Edgington this week. He’s probably still bingeing his way through innocent bystanders.

Other bits and pieces:

— Pam called Sookie “Tinker Bell” right before she whacked her and Sookie fairy-zapped her back. That was fun.

— Counselor Rosalyn said her maker was a pioneer and a true mainstreamer, but didn’t mention his name. Are we going to meet him?

— Miss Steeler named her cat “Prince Charming.” That’s sort of sad.

— Pam is always gorgeous (except when she was a zombie) and this week, in flashbacks *and* the present, she was even more gorgeous. Just saying.

— In this week’s hair report, Jessica, honey, the braid thing doesn’t work. Stop screwing up that glorious red hair.

Quotes:

Roman: “I have dedicated my guardianship to the fight for coexistence, and I will not see it go swirling down the shitter because of one ancient pissed off psychopath.”

Sookie: “Eric and I… and Bill … are over.”
Funny how she mentioned both of them together. Maybe there really is a menage coming along at some point.

Pam: “Go back to dry humping each other and buying my overpriced drinks or get the fuck out!”

Steve: “Excuse me, sir, but says who? Elvis was spotted buying turkey jerky at a Seven Eleven in Yakima last Thursday, but that doesn’t mean he’s still alive.”
That had to be a little tribute to Bubba, a character in the books.

Bill: “How do you trigger these devices?”
Tina Majorino: “There’s an app for that.”

Tina Majorino: “You guys are too cute to be goo.”
I’ll second that.

Salome: “Don’t believe everything you read. The human Bible, it’s little better than Us Weekly.”

Salome: “I was just a girl with a severely fucked up family.”
Bill: “So you didn’t ask for a man’s head on a silver platter?”
Salome: “Politics.”

Three out of four San Francisco flashbacks,

Billie Doux

(Billie Doux and her contributing writers review science fiction, fantasy and cult television shows at BillieDoux.com.)