Recap 5.6 True Blood “Hopeless”

Bill: “I love a good execution.”

Did I think Russell would be executed? Nope. Did I want him to be? Nope.

But the Authority stuff now has me completely confused. Authority is so corrupt; they killed all those poor people who were waiting for Russell to eat them. (And Doug.) Salome clearly didn’t want Russell executed, but she also shed a blood tear when Russell staked Roman. Are Salome and Nora on the same side? Is Molly in on it? Do they all believe that Lilith is coming? Was Russell lying when he said Lilith didn’t exist? (And does she?)

At least Bill and Eric are okay and no longer have iStakes attached to their hearts. I’m not a big Bill fan, but how cool was he in this episode? Loved how he pretended to glamour Sookie while telling her how he felt about her; it was heartbreaking and sweet, and I’m not even into them as a couple. (Eric glamoring Alcide was hilarious, though, and absolutely teeming with homoerotic subtext. Not that I think they’re about to get involved.)

Things at Fangtasia heated up with a Tara versus Jessica cat fight, so I guess that friendship is permanently on hold. (Did Tara actually say “Yessum, missy Pam”?) Hoyt thought the fight meant that Jessica still cares about him, and frankly, I’m a bit confused about whether she does or not. At any rate, Hoyt was so reckless he was ready to die. And now he’s been “rescued” by the shifter murderers, one of whom recognized him. I don’t know where they’re going with this one.

At least Luna is still alive and her little werewolf puppy hasn’t been orphaned. So cute that she went to scary wolf grandma. Martha was acting all rational and everything about taking care of Emma and how Luna was her mother and had the control. Do I believe her? Nope. Don’t trust her, Luna! She ate her son’s intestines!

The fairy strip club plot is getting even weirder, although I loved Sookie and Jason looking for it in the middle of a field. There never seem to be enough Sookie/Jason scene and for some reason, I always enjoy them together. And I think this was the first time we’ve ever seen Sookie, Jason and Hadley together, isn’t it? And we finally really met Claude, who said that fairies adjust to the standard of beauty of whatever reality they’re in. (He also complained about Maab making them dress like Disney characters, which was funny.)

Claude said that the vampires killed the Stackhouses because they smelled little Sookie’s blood on a bandaid in the back seat. Come onnnn! I just don’t buy it. (And hey, Sookie doesn’t need to feel that level of guilt, either.) I’m betting that the fairies did something to Jason to make him believe that vampires killed his parents. Is this some sort of fairy extermination spell to get vamps out of the way? Maybe I’m just more into vamps than fairies and don’t want them to be guilty. Whatever.

Way too many plot bits, recapped:

— Turned out Sookie and her microwave hands really were valuable in subduing Russell. Except he apparently wanted to be captured.

— Sam’s bid to help Andy by going undercover and using his nose actually worked at the Stake House. He saved Andy’s life. I’m liking Andy this season, which is nice.

— Alcide has challenged Marcus’s stoned father for leadership of the Pack, and Rikki, the pretty one with the long brown and strategically placed hair, was the only one smart enough to support his bid.

— Jason’s latest dream was about his father saying, “The only thing you have to fear is…” and Jason woke up. Maybe there’s more to the dreams than fairy hijinks?

— Lafayette dropped in on Ruby, who said that Jesus’s current after-death problems are because of his grandfather, and that Jesus needs Lafayette’s help.

— Terry decided to leave Arlene and the kids in order to protect them, and Arlene came to the logical conclusion that he was off his meds. Actually, if all this fire monster stuff turned out to be a delusion of Terry’s, I’d probably be more on board.

Bits and pieces:

— Claude mentioned Claudette and a bunch of other fairies with Claud- prefix names. He also said there was no light fruit at the club. Clearly, no quick time passage, either.

— Roman mentioned that eighteenth century Austrian hemophiliac blood is expensive. That reminded me of an Eric short story about Dracula and the “royalty” bottled blood.

— Loved the defaced Steve Newlin cardboard cut out at the Stake House. And the Russell Edgington tee shirt.

— I seem to have a bunch of wardrobe comments. Roman was wearing a blue Nike polo shirt, not something you would ordinarily think of a vampire wearing. Sam really can’t pull off the hospital gown look. And Joe Manganiello shirtless? I’m starting to feel like there’s no point to a True Blood episode if it doesn’t include Joe Manganiello semi-nude.

Quotes:

Authority guy: “Who is Doug?”
Doug: “Oh, god.”
Poor Doug. I knew he’d end up dead.

Eric: (glamouring Alcide) “And you will always protect Sookie with your life.”
Alcide: “Yes.”
Eric: “And you will keep your hands off her, romantically speaking. She kind of disgusts you.”
Alcide: “Okay.”

Jessica: “What are you doing?”
Hoyt: “I’m exercising my constitutional right to be a dirty fangbanger.”

Alcide: “Anything you need?”
Sookie: “A fucking normal life?”

Sookie: (to Alcide) “Did you just recoil from me? Why? (pause) Fucking Eric.”

Ruby: “You got to go. Jesus is in trouble. Save Jesus!”
Lafayette: “I will.”
Ruby: “Jesus loves you. Even if you are an abomination.”

Arlene: “Every man I’ve ever dated… or married… has had some sort of secret big ball of pain.”

Eric: “Boy scout.”
Bill: “Delinquent.”

Jason: “That’s my sister, you fairy fuckers!”

Russell: “Peace is for pussies!”
Gad, I love him. What a guy.

What would you rate this one? I thought it was fast and fun and quite possibly four out of four iStakes,

Billie Doux

(Billie Doux and her contributing writers review science fiction, fantasy and cult television shows at BillieDoux.com.)