Dear Eric Northman

We wanted to take a moment to convey our condolences at your loss of the Alpha Male crown. We know how much it meant to you. The time you put into campaigning for it was truly a treat to watch. We will enjoy our year’s supply of Tru Blood you so generously provided to each and every contender for the title. And your bribe application for the contest was indeed impressive. Mr. January indeed!

All that being said, there are one or two things we’d like to touch on with regards to contests of this kind. For future information:

• WE WON! Whether it comes down to Dean or myself actually wearing the Alpha Male crown, Supernatural wins all the way around.
• YOU LOST! We understand this is a bitter pill to swallow, but just wash it down with a bit of, well, you know… By the way, Bill Compton tells us Sookie is NOT on the menu.
• Your bribe attempts, while admirable, might have worked better had you  been better able to control your dental issues. Perhaps next time, turning up the glamour a bit more might help hide the fangs? Just a thought.
• Pam tried to help you out, but even she could not resist the Winchester charm. Go easy on her. She meant well. Next time, bring Chow along.

While venting your frustration and shock, please go easy on the people of  Shreveport. We’d hate to get a call from a roughed up citizen, complaining about a berserk Viking sore looser vamp. To be fair, there were two of us and only one of you. That’s double the hotness. It was really no contest.

Oh and, by the way, before trying to off us and take the crown, consider this: I’ve learned a few things since killing the last vampire that crossed my path. It’s better if you just quietly slipped away into the night and accept your defeat like the 1000 year-old, proud Viking you are.

Till next time, buddy,

Dean and Sam Winchester

P.S.  We won – you lost!