Letter To Cast and Crew: Jessica

My Dearest Jessica,

Ah, youth! You wear it well, Jess. Your beautiful hair, lovely skin and sweet curves make you the poster child for Teen Vamp. Your innocence is so charming, yes, enough to charm a snake out of a basket.

Jessica

However, dear, you really must cut Daddy a little slack once in a while. He’s doing the best that he can under the circumstances. (See my earlier letter to him.) Although he may have found something useful in flying Sookie around everywhere so she can nip more of those “cute little bottles” of booze. Still, you don’t want to trade one dysfunctional family for another, with a drunk for a ‘mommy’ and, well, your ‘daddy’. Sure, he’s the sweet, Southern farm boy we all know and love, but he’s still learning the ropes of fatherhood. He’s quite vulnerable when it comes to you.

Now, here is the real reason for my letter to you, Sweetfangs. While Bill is in this position, it’s a really great time to get some things taken care of for yourself. After all, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, right? So, take notes.

• Now would be a great time to ask for a new car. Why not? It’s not like you could harm yourself. And think what a plus it would be while Bill is off rescuing Sookie from…whatever it is she’ll need rescuing from – again. You’d be able to come and go as you please. Every girl needs a cute little sports car, in fire-engine red!
• Wardrobe. This, of course, includes shoes. Just grab that Compton Credit Card, call Pam, and fly! Yes, I said Pam. She’ll doll you up just right. Look what she did for your “Uncle Eric”!
• Boys. Here’s the thing. We already know how Bill feels about you dating. That little scene with Hoyt did nothing to gain any trust. But all is not lost, child. I’m sure Bill will be fine with you having a Girl’s Night at Arlene’s house. While you’re there, you could arrange to have Hoyt pick you up and off you go, in his handsome F150 chariot. Arlene’s the best!

Well, that’s all for starters. I think that will do just fine. If you get stuck or need more advice on anything, Maryann is a great motivator.

Best of luck to you, sweetie!

Liz Henderson
Author of “Ask Liz” on True-Blood.net